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Cultus des Vulpes

The Cult of the Fox

Tales of a Shoggoth Wrangler
17 October 1972
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Editor's note: This is so beyond out of date it's not even funny.

The Tale of Episkopses Vulpine the XXIII

I'm Vulpine. I live in DFW, Texas. I'm a 40-something year old computer geek/cultist/weirdo. I live with my ferrets, 2 cats, and a variable number of computers. Life is just a little strange here at Château Innsmouth.

I'm a witch, a pagan, and also a Discordian, aka a Follower of the Goddess of Chaos, Eris Discordia. I'm firm believer in gnosis (personal knowledge of $DEITY) I also think that god, however you view Him/Her/It/They, has a wickedly evil sense of humor, and 99% of the audience is afraid to laugh. I like to think I'm in the 1%.

The name Vulpine comes from Latin, meaning 'fox or fox like.' I've been a fan of foxes since I was a kid, 2nd grade I had a report about the zoo and it's all about different species of foxes, then an aside that there were other animals too. Foxes are cunning, sneaky, curious and well frankly cool. Foxes adapt to their surroundings, and are one of the few critters who's range has expanded with man around. For those of a pagan nature, I do conside Fox to be my totem.

I love puns, bad jokes, filking songs and general laughter. After several polls, I've discovered my most memorable trait is my humor. I try to always have a joke or a quip ready. I parody movies while they're playing. I should be on the Satellite of Love with some robot puppets. I've competed in the o henry annual(ish) Pun Off, as well as myriad impromptu pun wars. And my brain never really shuts up on the jokes, I've just learned to turn it off in places it would be frowned upon. Well mostly. Occasional. Ok, when threat of physical harm or loss of limb is invoked. Maybe. Hell, I've punned during sex. What can I say, I like inspiring groans *wink*

I'm a long haired and bearded geek, 5'7" weight varies. orange soda, egg cremes, and lemon meringue pie are ambrosia and manna from heaven. No tattoos, a few scars, no other outstanding marks. I've been a longhair since high school, minus a few points in life where I needed a job more than hair. Lucky for me, I haven't had one of those dips in many many years. Frankly, I look weird with short hair. And no, you can't see pictures of me with short hair. I burned all of them, and shot the photographers.

As a geek, I have a small collection of computers. Only 5 totalled in Chez Cabal 23. Yep, 5. Plus some other hardware, like pdas and mp3 players...

In no particular order, the silicon roommates are...
  • Shub-Internet: My Linux workstation/server. Where I do all my emailing, chatting etc. Not the newest hardware thanks to rebuilds, but it does the job nicely.
  • Yog-Software: My Windows workstation/game box. Currently it's a work in progress, since I'm waiting on funds to finish it out.
  • Shoggoth: Fileserver. Just a big pile of disks for storage. Linux again. Also a work in progress, since it needs a major rebuild.
  • Asenath: Laptop. Also running Linux. IBM Thinkpad, that's a few years old, but runs rather well. I use it mostly for a backup workstation at home.
  • Byatis: Shell server. Was used as a bastion server, and a honeypot for ssh scans. Currently it's offline due to electric bills
  • Tindalos: Monitoring server, currently running Ubuntu Linux. Currently it's offline due to electric bills
  • Uxia: Netbook. Yet another Linux box, this is my EEEPc 900. Nice and portable. And useful.
  • Zhothaqquah: My HTC G1 phone. This is my tie to the internet when I'm out and about. All my personal email is routed to my Gmail account and readable on the phone. I can also ssh into servers and fix things. It's a useful toy.
  • Cephalopod: Ipod Nano (second gen). 16 gigs of portable music bliss. Currently I've got about 50% of it in use. So much music *blissful smile*. I got this as a bday gift from a pack of my local friends.

    If the above names aren't familiar to you, they are the names of deities/critters from H.P. Lovecraft's Cthulhu Mythos. What better than invoking the name of some anicent forbidden horror when dealing with a computer, which is a modern horror.

    Lets talk about critters. As I said, I live with two ferrets and two cats. The ferrets are named Nyx and Whiskey, They are true avatars of chaos. Nyx is the dainty little girl ferret leader. She's smart, fairly affectionate and has a mission to see everything out there. Ferrets are curious by nature. Nyx makes the average ferret look dull. Also, I dreamed about her before I got her, just a dream about having a little sable ferret named Nyx...a week later I bought her and her brother Whiskey. Speaking of Whiskey, Whiskey is a younger version of Arwen, with all his stubbornness and desire to chew on toes. Unlike the others, he has no interest in treats, he just wants to run and play and wrestle. He's a crazed weasel, and very loveable...when he's not going for my feet. On the cat front, my 2 felines are Diamond and Cassilda. Diamond is a part Maine Coon who loves to demand affection at all hours. And as big as he is, it's not hard for him to get it. Then there is Cassilda (Cassie for short). She's a sweet little kitty who made it very clear she wanted to come home with me, so after much second guessing and pondering I adopted her. She's a vocal girl, very demanding of pets. But I like her.

    I am a huge fanatic for weird fiction. This is a odd little subset of literature, part horror, part sci-fi, part fantasy. If you like authors like HP Lovecraft, Robert Howard, Clark Ashton Smith, Henry Kuttner, Brian Lumley, Ramsey Campbell, or Richard Tierney (to name a few of my favorites) then you're a fan of weird fiction. I couldn't tell you exactly why this genre of fiction attracts me so, it just does. Give me a book with tentacled horrors from beyond time and space, a few eldritch tomes of sanity blasting lore, references to ancient civilisations that flourished and feel long before man crawled up from the slimy seas...and I'm hooked.

    Speaking of weird, you will occasionally see posts involving my squamous roommate, plushcthulhu aka Skippy. Nothing like living with a stuffed horror from sunken R'yleh to add some zest to life. Generally anywhere I go outside of DFW, Skippy tags along. He's a hit at Scifi cons and RenFaires, and scarily enough he's popular with children. Corrupt the young, that's my motto. He's also fairly popular with the ladies, especially those who like hentai...I wonder why ;)

    Besides weird fiction, I'll read damn near anything. I have bookshelves crammed with all sorts of odd subjects. I'll cheerfully cut my food budget before I stop buying books. Personal favorite subjects. History, scifi, fantasy, palaeontology, and the occasional mystery. I walk around with generally two books in my bag, along with a few ebooks on the PDA. I have been known to twitch due to lack of reading material.

    As for work, I work for a webhosting company as a security admin. In English, I deal with people trying to break into other computers, either from within our network for people trying from without. I also deal with those nasty spammers that everyone hates. So most of my day is spent looking for goofy stuff. It's not a bad job, occasionally kind of interesting. And good for the ego, since I'm 90% self taught geek. No classes or courses, just me, the internet, the occasional book and friends to harass. Not bad if I say so myself.

    I'm different than most people you've met, and you'll remember me to the grave...probably giggling at a pun or two ;)

    I have twenty cents taped to my transmission, so anytime I wish, I can shift my paradimes ;)

    I grew up in New York, on Long Island. I moved to Texas in my teens, but I still consider myself a New Yorker at heart. Or at spleen, probably more at spleen.

    Anything else you want to know, ask. I don't bite (well unless I like you).
  • 23, 5, ancient rome, army of darkness, asenath waite, asia carrera, azathoth, b-movies, bad horror movies, bad movies, blind guardian, blue oyster cult, bran mak morn, brian lumley, bruce campbell, brunettes, cabal 23, callahans, cassilda, catma, cats, celtic music, chaos, clark ashton smith, computer, conan, conspiracy theories, cthookies, cthulhu, cthulhu mythos, cyberpunk, david weber, debbie rochon, dfwufies, discordia, discordianism, discordians, discordigeek, dream theater, eliza dushku, emperor norton, eris, esoteric order of dagon, evil dead, fedora, fencing, ferrets, filk, flintlocks, fnord, foxes, futurama, geek, hammerfall, hentai, history, honor harrington, horror, horror movies, hp lovecraft, hyboria, hyperborea, iced earth, illuminati, insomnia, iron maiden, jack aubrey, jackie chan, jet li, latin, law of fives, lin carter, linux, lovecraft, malaclypse the elder, malaclypse the younger, martial arts, mst3k, multiple monitors, mythbusters, neil gaiman, neo-anarchism, nightwish, nyarlathotep, parody, philip k dick, plush cthulhu, principia discordia, puns, ramsey campbell, reading, redheads, richard tierney, robert anton wilson, robert e howard, robert heinlein, robert howard, robert m price, role playing games, rose mcgowan, rpg, s.m. stirling, sacred chao, schrodinger's cat, scifi, sendmail, shub-internet, shub-niggurath, spider robinson, spqr, squamous, stephanie swift, tara monroe, tempest, tentacles, terry prachett, the yellow sign, tsathoggua, ufies, uflist, userfriendly, uxia cambarro, vim, voyeur, weirdness, weirdos, wicca, xinerama, yog-sothoth, zhothaqquah, zvilpogghua


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